Defeated

I'm feeling quite defeated tonight. I did my workout, same as Saturday's and I felt like I nearly died. I was able to download a podcast of the Couch to 5k so it would give me verbal voiceovers of the intervals so I knew when to run and when to walk without having to watch the clock. That helped quite a bit, but my legs felt like they were jello. I literally had to push myself to the limit in order to stay jogging when I was supposed to be jogging. Good news, I did it; I finished my workout just like I was supposed to.

I feel like I should be doing better than I am. While I'm completing the workout, I feel like I should be able to jog faster (I'm really trotting, I'm not sure I can count 4.7 mph as a jog even) and in turn going farther distances, but I can't. I'm also a bit depressed that this same workout on Saturday felt much easier then. I even took yesterday off completely, with no cross training. Also, this is my 4th week of this (going from completely inactive for months to working out at a minimum 3 days a week, but most weeks 5 days) and I've lost a whopping 3 pounds. I'm eating better, but the weight is just not coming off. For someone who's more than 20 pounds overweight, I should have dropped more than 3 fricking pounds! GRRRR!

There's a 2 mile fun run/walk in Albion on the 19th. A friend wants to do it, not sure I can. I was looking forward to it, but because of my commute and Shawn's busy schedule lately, all my training is on the treadmill. I know what going outside on the pavement is going to be like. HELL!

I need to find something positive to focus on the next couple days. I'm not sure what, but I need to find something quick.

Whew!

All that worry and anxiety for nothing! I did week 4, day 1 today (jog 3 min, walk 90 secs, jog 5 min, walk 2.5 min, jog 3 min, walk 90 secs, jog 5 mins) and while the last little bit was tough, I felt great! It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. If I'd keep my eyes off the time, and just concentrate on running, I think it would be even better. I'm still slower than a snail, but I'm okay with that. I know I've been so inactive for so long that I have to just get used to running. Once I can do that for at least 30 minutes several days a week, I will work on the speed thing.

I need to work harder on my cross-training and strength training now. We'll see what this week brings!

Week 3 complete!

Tonight's workout was the official end of week 3! I felt really good! My last 3 minute jog, I even increased my speed by 0.5 mph, I know, not a big difference when I'm already jogging as slow as a snail, but for me it was good to push a bit. This week wasn't bad, it was jog 90 secs, walk 90 secs, then jog 3 minutes, walk 3 minutes, and repeat the whole thing over. It sounds like nothing, but was tough when I started this week, but felt great tonight. Tomorrow is my day off, but I may do some pilates since I took last night completely off. I'm feeling really good and thinking positive about Week 4. It has me a bit scared! :) I can do this right?

Of course I can, I never would have thought 3 weeks ago I could jog for 90 seconds straight, let alone 3 minutes, but I am! (yes, I know, for all you fit people out there, you are laughing at how ridiculous that sounds, but remember how lazy I have been! )

Thanks again for the support, laughs, and encouraging words. I won't be able to keep the motivation without all of that! I am taking Eric's advice and against my better judgment, going to have Shawn take pictures of me every month. I likely won't post any for quite some time, but it will at least give me something to look at and see some progress!

Just wondering

Today I have spent a lot of time wondering what in the heck I've gotten myself into! :) I really, truly am feeling so much better just having some activity in my life again. I definitely see a difference in my energy levels, so that's a good thing. My motivation has been really good and I actually look forward to coming home to my workout! That is a huge change for me and I hope that the motivation stays high.

I'm coming to the end of week 3 in my couch to 5k program. I've been doing the majority of my workouts on the treadmill. I tried going outside last night. OMG! After being eaten alive by bugs (I counted 8 very swollen bites by the time I got back home), I seriously thought I might die! Who would have ever thought that running outside was that much more difficult than a treadmill?!? I had to ice my legs when I got home they were so sore. I must say though, that the direction I ran, I did have to do hills, so that was an addition to my workout that I haven't been doing on the treadmill.

So after last night, I began my wondering, what I'm doing. Why would I ever agree to do a half-marathon? I mean, that's 13.1 miles. Right now, I jog 3 minutes and then I stop to walk for another 3 minutes and I'm supposed to run 13.1 miles, in a year's time?? Seriously?? I know I don't technically have to "run" the entire time, that walking is allowed, but wow, 13.1 miles. That's a long ways to run!

Then, I think, why can't I? Yes, I'm overweight. Yes, I'm out of shape. No, I've never ran more than 1/4 mile at a time before. BUT, I can do this! When I started my run/walk program, I looked at week 3 thinking there was no way I'd run for 3 minutes without stopping and look at me, I'm doing it! I've decided while I have to keep my eye on the big picture of running that half-marathon, I need to focus on the little things; like making it through one workout at a time! If I have to repeat a week, so what.

I read recently that running is 90% mental and 10% physical. That is becoming clearer to me. While I think it's more 50-50, I definitely see how self-doubt and negative self-talk can stop you dead in your tracks. With that, I'm going to stop wondering what I'm doing, and begin wondering how great will I feel when I accomplish my goal!

Starting Out

A crazy friend (Jenny W) thought it would be a great idea to work at running a half-marathon and she had an even crazier idea in that her and I should do that together. Now, I'm not a runner, I've never been a runner, and am not sure I can ever be a runner, but for some reason after some thinking and talking, I agreed to work towards the goal of running a half-marathon in a year.

That was the beginning part of May. I have to say I have been completely un-active for quite some time, I'm not at an ideal weight, and like I said before, I've never been a runner. I was a sprinter in high school for a reason...I never wanted to run longer than the 400m warm-up lap we had to do every day.

I had a lot of support from my facebook friends and got some ideas on where to start. I also did some searching online and found a beginners run/walk program at runnersworld.com. The first week went fine, I was tired, but was definitely motivated. When I hit week 2, I was finding it nearly impossible and my calves were on FIRE! After talking to others, I decided that program was a bit aggressive for my inactive lifestyle. So back online I went. I found the Couch to 5k program and I started at week 2 on that. I'm so glad I did!! It has been great so far. Thanks to all who have been supportive in this short time, I couldn't have made it this far without you!